Monsters under my bed

Wait till you hear what I said…

I’ve just hung up the phone. It was really good news from my publisher. The early readers of my book are saying good things. Really good things. I was surprised, but there was a piece of me hesitant to accept this win.

😬 What did I say this time?

This is very hard to share…but I’m ripping off the band-aid.

I have never been great at anything.

Good? Maybe. Great? Definitely not.

Wow, subconscious. Talk about a sucker punch. Thank you for your clear and succinct perspective. 😂

The first line of action was taking my own advice 🙌🏼: “Don’t believe everything you tell yourself.”

I have GPA’s, degrees, awards, credentials, social proof, and job titles that might say otherwise. But there it was. That’s what my monster said. And everything I could come up with came from someone else. That “you’re enough” list came from outside of me. So, I kept digging.

Those words echoing in my head came from somewhere I hadn’t yet acknowledged, but with the pause I gifted myself, I felt my new muscles (those high-vibe ones) kick in. Something else bubbled up too.

And she said, I don’t believe that about us. That felt like my truth. This time the things that came to mind, my successes, came from my how I see myself.

Honestly, the voices you hear in your head are far from monsters. For me, and I’m guessing for you too, they’re the scared voice of a younger you. She’s not looking to hurt you, she’s hoping to help you.

Maybe they are things you’ve told yourself. Maybe they are things someone else said about you. What you hear is not always in your control. What you hold onto always is.

If you’ve ever struggled with a bit of goodness in your life, remember this:

🌈 You can accept a win without having to worry about what it means.

In this moment, it holds something for you. What happens in the future (for me, the question of a well-received book) is irrelevant to the joy in this moment.

🌈 What you’re looking for - happiness, peace, fulfillment, purpose - requires you to be open to seeing it in each moment.

🌈 Telling a new story often comes with the discomfort of hearing the old one, the one you want to release.

Thank your sweet “monsters”, don’t believe them. You can’t let go of these weights if you don’t know you’re carrying them.

Win, learn, or lose - they are all perspectives (and all come with supporting evidence). You get to decide if you come out on top.

Knowing that the human experience is more similar than different is why I’m willing to share my most vulnerable moments. If my discomfort eases yours, it’s worth the share.

🥂 Here’s to letting yourself celebrate life because, win or learn, you’ve just got this one moment.

Sending love and gratitude. xx