“Basically Vegan”
In one of my earlier posts this week, I casually mentioned that I’m “basically vegan” which made me want to talk about this idea of labels. Learning to live outside of, or maybe in-between, labels has been an important part of my journey. I have always been your run-of-the-mill, average perfectionist. My value came from my achievements, accolades, awards, titles – basically I was willing to let everyone else decide what I would be worth. I clung to all the labels, explicit and implicit: good, smart, hard-working, dependable, responsible, thoughtful, self-sacrificing.
I found safety in living within the boundaries of these labels. They were a way to understand who I was. I was willing to bear whatever burden I needed to because these labels promised me many things, including happiness. Once I had it all, I would be it all and I could stop, rest and relish the life I had built. There would be an end to all the worrying, anxiety and insecurity.
Part of me was afraid that acknowledging my compliance with these labels would mean I would have to scrap them and start all over. Was it possible to be hard-working and not over-worked? Could I be kind and honor my voice? I began to dig.
Come to find out, I actually am many, if not all, of the labels I was given. I’m just not all of them all the time. Using my voice sometimes ruffles feathers. Prioritizing myself sometimes means other things don’t get done. Upholding my boundaries sometimes doesn’t look neat. It’s always said things are not black or white – that there’s a big grey area. But ditching the labels and living in-between is anything but grey. It actually doesn’t even look all that different on the outside. It just feels a whole heck of a lot better on the inside. Sure, life is a little messier but it is an infinitely more pleasurable existence.
So, I call myself ‘basically’ vegan because there are moments when I live outside the box. Sometimes I want to taste my mother’s ghee. Sometimes I want to sample a fresh oyster, oceanside.
I am passionate about my beliefs and feel strongly about not creating suffering. I make conscious choices to support my beliefs and when I waver, I choose to see things from a place of abundance. I am not breaking any rules or going to feel bad because I believe not just in ending suffering, but in creating joy. I have many beliefs and learning to navigate from a place of love is part of the great ‘grey’ journey.
So when you see your labels, remember that if you stray from them: You don’t need to feel like you didn’t have enough will power or that you fell short. You are simply living in the wide expanse ‘in-between’.
