It’s a bird, no, it’s a plane…

Maybe you’ve never mistaken a bird for a plane or a plane for a superhero, but how about this one?

Has facing a challenge ever felt like pain and suffering?

Because in reality the two are different. As Preethaji and Krishnaji of the O&O Academy put it, a challenge is something every creature faces to meet its needs. Suffering, they say, is unique to the human experience. It’s a focus on the self, versus a focus on the problem.

After last week’s prompt around unproductive thoughts and how they lead us astray, I had to share this message. I’ve heard it before, but was listening to a fresh take on it by this couple.

I want to add that suffering in the world exists, but there are a lot of us that are privileged enough to have another choice. Suffering for us is self-induced. A challenge doesn’t need to require any suffering. The mix up is exemplary of living in a distracted state.

When we are living in the constructive state, a challenge presents us with an opportunity to identify the goal to remedy the situation. By applying all 5 C elements, we know what we need to do a constructive set of actions to make progress.

I recently found myself back in a distracted state.

Starting back to homeschooling means reigning in some of the free time my children have. It’s teaching them responsibility to manage their schedule and to respect my time as well. It provides opportunities to hit roadblocks (challenges) and find solutions.

About a week in, I began finding myself getting frustrated with the way things were shaping up. I was knee-deep in suffering over what was simply a hurdle to jump. And it was making me less effective, less joyful, and completely drained.

I called a meeting, told them my feelings and needs and discussed outcomes of different choices. They did the same. None of necessarily felt better, but we laid our cards on the table.

As a parent, it’s always a great mystery how your words get interpreted. Knowing what words get lodged between their ears and what words escape is a puzzle. I have no doubt my children feel the same in reverse.

I did what teaching I could that afternoon and then we all moved on. I’m not going to lie. At first, watching them just read their books and build pillow forts on the couch was infuriating. After everything I just shared with them, how could they just be laughing and playing?

The beauty of childhood can be so difficult for adults. Their ability to move on, to follow what feels good are things we long for but rarely appreciate when we witness them.

I didn’t say a thing, just let myself find flow in my own work. It was then that I noticed that all the noise had stopped – total silence. I know for a lot of parents, silence means trouble. In our house, silence means everyone is engrossed in a book. It’s hard to admonish a healthy reading habit, but for us, it can be difficult to get the basic things done when no one can put their books down.

I crept downstairs, feeling my frustration rise. Then I instantly felt bad. My son was teaching my daughter her math lesson and studying Spanish. They were methodically going through the planner and checking off tasks. I quietly walked by pretending to be on my way to the kitchen. Inside my heart was bursting.

Sometimes our challenges with other people feel like suffering. Sometimes we just need to communicate, be patient, let go, and exert actual control of just ourselves.

Life doesn’t always happen on our desired timetable. I thanked the Universe for another beautiful lesson.