Fear: Friend Not Foe

Fear. It’s an emotion. It’s also a physiological response. Like all emotions, it’s a link between our minds and our bodies. 

Fear looms large in a lot our lives because well, it’s uncomfortable at best and debilitating at worst. Sometimes even the thought of potential fear is enough to halt us. The idea of risk, vulnerability, and criticism get our imaginations going on a downward spiral. 

In my own life, fear has been something I’ve run from and run towards. It was a dominating presence. One that I first tried to avoid and then tried to conquer. I thought my courage to tackle it was the solution to being rid of it – for good. But what I found was that my attempt to deny it a place within me, made it a central focus.

Fear is actually just one of many emotions that we experience. It’s simply one more way to gather information. Feeling fear does not mean we need to be afraid. It means we’re trying to tell ourselves something. It’s an incoming message. Stopping to receive the signal from fear is the first step. The second is deciding what to do with it. 

Here’s something to remember. Fear and discomfort are not the same thing. (When I think about it, fear and excitement can actually feel similar – butterflies, tightened muscles, reduced appetite.) Use awareness. Pause.

Fear is extremely useful in uncovering the root of a deeply held belief (that may not even be true). One like, people will think I’m dumb, I’m not good enough, or I could never do that. 

Remember, it matters what you believe. If you start looking inwards and you choose to feel a certain way, that’s great. Always remember though that you can choose to accept your belief or you can choose to challenge it.

The discomfort that comes from vulnerability dissipates when we focus on the action, the moment, over the outcome. 

Just breaking the cycle of believing that fear is negative is powerful. Next time you’re feeling afraid – listen. Fear was never meant to keep you small. It was meant to keep you alive. Have a relationship with fear. Fear will send you messages. Now you know how to send one right back. 

So yeah, there is discomfort with growth. But it doesn’t need to be feared. It needs to be felt.