Hope or Control?

Hope is a reflection of our belief system. The way we utilize hope is connected to the very core of what we believe to be true, about ourselves and others. 

When we hope so badly for something, it’s important to ask why? What does it mean for our hope to become a reality? What does it mean if it doesn’t? I’m not sure if we can truly embrace hope without these answers. Without them, hope can just be another word for control.

Many of us might steer clear of hope because of the ‘inevitable’ disappointment that follows. But is disappointment inevitable? It matters what you believe. 

When feelings of lack permeate our deepest thoughts, disappointment tends to feel painful. We have linked the outcome to our worth. Maybe we don’t get a call from someone we like. It can feel like a painful reminder that we’re somehow not enough. When we don’t get a job at that amazing company, it must be because we simply weren’t good enough. When we are looking forward to spending time with someone we love and we get sidelined, it can feel crushing. Clearly, this means we weren’t important enough to them.

Hope isn’t actually about the outcome alone. Hope is a willingness to believe in possibility. It’s a deep faith that outcomes are not a reflection of who we are. Hope is the opportunity we give ourselves to experience life fully. 

This doesn’t mean everything works out the way you pictured it. It means, that whether or not things pan out as you’d like, you are okay. Sometimes there’s a disappointment that comes but it doesn’t linger. Because practicing true hope also means that you’re able to see more possibility. It’s a deep understanding that what is meant for you will find you. That what happens to you, is not a reflection of your deficits, but an opportunity to implement your strengths. 

This week try practicing some hope. Remember, it’s not about control. You’re stating a desire and releasing it into the Universe. Allow things to unfold. Discomfort is not the same as pain. 

Try practicing good communication skills, with yourself and others. To be able to acknowledge how you feel, and maybe even say how you feel, is a powerful antidote to disappointment. “I am hurt.” “I was looking forward to spending time with you.” “That job sounded so amazing.” 

If things don’t unfold as planned, what can you glean? Did you learn something about yourself? About an experience? Staying open, regardless of the outcome, can show us a next step we may not have noticed before. It takes to exactly where we were meant to be – in this moment.

It feels good to have hope. Follow what feels good.