Now you see it, now you don’t

Control can be a bit like a magic act.

I used to associate this word with tightness, like an iron fist. But rigidity, being closed-off, and absolute authority are actually by-products of being controlling. Being in control has more to do with trust, knowing and peace. These words are similar, but vastly different.

CONTROL is the second element of a constructive lifestyle. The trick is to shift your energy from trying to control things outside yourself to being in control of just yourself. That internal shift allows you to be a force that manifests desired changes around you.

The truth is we don’t control other people or situations, we influence them.

Control is an illusion when we attempt to directly manipulate things outside of ourselves. Our efforts and actions allow us to collaborate with the world around us and create the life we seek.

When we accept that we have control over how we feel, what we think and the action we take, we are liberated from the enormous weight of other people’s choices.

It’s a new lens through which we see. If I am responsible for my feelings, thoughts, actions, then so are you. I don’t need to internalize the beliefs, responses or actions of others. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel hurt, sad, disrespected or angry. It does mean I know that the words and actions of others are more often a part of their story, not mine. Healthy communication is constructive.

Accepting control allows us to improve both our internal dialogue and our external communication skills. I may not have a choice about what happens to me, but I recognize that I can choose how to respond to any situation.

That kind of control is exhilarating because it is powerful. It comes after clarity. When we know we know who we are and what we want, the control we exert on ourselves (thoughts, beliefs, actions) is amplified. Others pick up on that sure-footedness and follow suit. My truth becomes my reality.

What is your truth?

You spend last week getting CLARITY. This week focus on CONTROL. Find flow in this constructive state. It’s the next natural step after clarity.

In this element you’ll harness the power of your tools of perspective and choice.

Use the same four steps to stay in that productive state.
Awareness: Be aware of when you mistake someone else’s truth for your own.

Intention: What do you want to feel? think? do?

Perspective: How can you see things differently that will allow you to embrace all the power you do have? What are paths, ideas you can imagine now that you understand the power within influences your experiences and relationships?

Choice: This tool is your go-to as you embrace control. Action is a necessary part of progress. The focus in on the process over the outcome. You will learn from choice whether things go the way you expected or not. That is progress over perfection.