Good things
Good things come in no packages too.
I’m a dream-chaser, a list maker, an overachiever. I also love a good challenge. So, when it comes to resolutions, I sort of can’t help myself. I jumped on the New Year’s resolution band wagon for years, but my goals felt more forced than inspired. While I loved the idea of a fresh year and fresh start, it’s not a time of year when I have the most momentum. My birthday, however, is another story. Growing up, my mother made the day magical. That feeling has carried over into my adult years as well. So, when, at thirty-nine, a good friend approached me with a birthday twist, I took her up on it. We agreed that we were ready to create intentional change in our lives. We decided to gift ourselves mindfulness for our fortieths. The timing felt perfect, the cause (a better me) worthy. Gifting myself felt empowering.
Having support on a journey like this is crucial because you’re pretty much guaranteed to lose steam. Life happens and sometimes you need to refocus your efforts. But this time, we had each other – someone to bring us back into the race. It was a bit like handing off the baton in a relay. When we couldn’t do the work, it was enough that the other one was. It was (and still is) a judgement-free zone where the only direction you can go is up. We became sounding boards, cheerleaders, mentors, and safe-space holders.
Did we reach the finish?
Sort of…
All that year and our fortieth we spent reframing. We experienced the ups and the downs through a new lens. We came to fully understand the impossibility of our goal and the total possibility of our dream. There is no finish. There is no finish because life meanders. The journey is what we have to enjoy. And the finish is no place you’re hurrying towards. Instead of fighting our way to a future, we began living our way to the present. Inner peace is a daily choice and a way of life. You might have it for a few brief moments and just as easily it will evade you for weeks. Tasting its sweetness for even a moment filled us with hope, with joy, with resolve. We learned that it’s more about noticing it than striving for it. You don’t try to get it. It’s always there, out in the open if only we are willing to see it. Peace lay just behind our busy schedules and distracted minds.
In this new lifestyle, I have learned to recognize my needs alonside the needs of others. Filling my cup, makes more possible. The idea of adding something else onto my plate feels possible. This year, my forty-first, I choose to gift myself strength. I’m acknowledging what I have and realizing I have room to grow. I want a stronger body. I want to forge stronger relationships with those I love. And I want to trust that I’m strong enough to let go of control.
Gifting myself has been something I so look forward to. Each birthday has become a new dawn. Chosing a theme that applies to my whole being, makes every part of me better. I’ve given up on the idea of breaking myself down. I am more than the sum of my parts. I am strongest when I approach anything with all of me: heart and soul.
We all have different ways of thriving. I’m not judging anyone else’s goal or lack thereof. What I hope I’m doing is encouraging a little introspection and a lot of fulfillment.
