Four walls

I’ve written three letters ✉️ to you wondering what’s the message I’m meant to share this week. As I put my computer down and stare out the window and look around my room, a familiar feeling has come over me - comfort.

I can remember this feeling so vividly as a kid finding solace in my room. I can still feel the warmth of the sun on me and my matching wallpaper and bedspread. (Gotta love the ’90’s.) Just me and my things, feeling safe and at peace. ☺️

That’s how I’m feeling right now. There’s still sun, but today there is a tatami mat floor and an old-school pushbutton fan. But the feeling is the same. Just me, my few belongings, safe and peaceful.

But…

that’s not how I’ve been feeling these last couple of days. I’m three days in to my long-term housing and it’s been challenging. Getting here, getting the accommodations adjusted, and doing the daily tasks. All of it has been challenging, emotionally and physically.

I’ve shared some really exciting pieces of travel from the first few days, but shifting into routine life is different. As I keep butting up against these feelings of discomfort, newness, and homesickness, I know this is my lesson. I get to retrain what I see and what I focus on to change the experience I have.

I get to relish having a room that makes me smile, time to explore a new country with my children, the opportunity to connect with a wonderful new community of parents and children as well as the local community. The challenges don’t go away, they get to fade into the background. They are a part of the tapestry, but they aren’t the whole picture.

My children and I have sweat together wandering around the city looking for the right bus station. We have played games at the kitchen table as we delight in local snacks. We are learning that we don’t have to let any one experience define the day for us.

There are ups and downs. There are things that I wish were and weren’t. But there is so much I’m remembering about life - that feeling good is always a choice.

I’ve been able to redirect my focus by tackling one thing at a time. It’s even smaller than one day at a time. It’s been one bus at a time. One meal at a time. One shower at a time. One futon night of sleep at a time.

✨ As I let go, I make space for what I want to feel. ✨

Even if you’re not in a new place physically, you find you’re in a new stage in life, a new relationship, new joy, new phase of life. Find your one blank at a time. Create your own momentum and cultivate your confidence that you’ve got this. Wherever you in are in the world or in life, you can find your “room” where you feel safe, good, and at peace.

Leaving you with some wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.