And the winner is…

Competition breeds many things, including confusion.

There’s a belief that a skillset or talent makes us better than. Truth? You’re just better at. What’s the difference?

It confuses being and doing. What we do is not the same thing as who we are. The first is the belief that it’s possible to have more value than someone else. This feeling creeps up on us. I’ve been guilty of it for sure. I’ve judged other people’s work, attitudes, and choices with a certainty that mine are better. There are always people who have and do less than us but, when we look the other way, there are always people who have and do more.

You can add more value to a company, an effort, a campaign, a movement through your contribution. But nothing changes your innate value. And that’s a good thing.

Let me reiterate - I absolutely believe competition exists. There are many occasions where we are chosen because of the skill we display on paper, on a court, or for customers. But how many times do we show up with the same mindset when we’re NOT competing?

Part of our very nature, our basic need, is connection. In today’s modern world, if you’re not intentional, that looks like comparison. Our need to find a place to fit in within a hierarchy of our own making leaves most of us feeling deflated (aka Distracted living).

You’re not here to prove your worth to anyone. You’re here to live your purpose - whatever that looks like for you. (And for those who feel purpose is confusing, it’s as simple as starting with what brings you joy.) You don’t need to prove to anyone you’re a better boss, mother, employee, wife, or daughter. I invite you to believe that what you really need is to show up as the best version of yourself and be open to evolving.

The good news is that we can connect with people without needing to be better or worse. What kind of confidence would you have if you knew you were equal? (Btw, equal doesn’t mean same - another lesson that took me a while to figure out.) We can choose to live constructively and build ourselves and others up.

This saying has popped up on my radar a few times this past week: a rising tide lifts all boats. That’s constructive living. Working on feeling good yourself, allowing that to let you see the good around you, and then going on to create more good in the world.

Besides, feeling better than someone doesn’t actually make anyone feel good. One side is always disappointed while the other never feels good enough. It brings us all down. So, rather than compare, what if you witnessed?

Humans, all creatures really, possess value. It’s not something you earn or lose. It’s the beautiful gift you are given for being on this planet. I can’t go back to tell my younger self that, but I can remind myself of it everyday.

What a beautiful question to ponder…

What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of being compared, judged, put down or laughed at? It’s the real question we should all be asking ourselves.

You know what I’m going to do next, right?

Yep, I’m going to ask you to give it a try! Borrow my courage.

When you show up for work, for friends, for parenting, watch your thoughts and your words. Witness if your thoughts shift into competition mode. How are you listening? What advice are you offering? What judgements are you passing on yourself or someone else? How can you remember that we are all equal beings?

Remember we can all rise together.