A personal story
Presence.
Do not underestimate the power of it.
I am learning this lesson due to absence. I woke up this morning to my first day in almost fifteen years without a greeting from my dog. To those of you who don’t have pets, trust me when I say they are members of your family and leave profound imprints. We put our dear Stella to rest yesterday and I spent the day realizing that she’s still offering me gifts.
I’m offering you two of these perspective shifts.
First. We don’t actually want the hard stuff to end.
The day-in and day-out of being responsible can feel challenging, annoying, frustrating, and never-ending. But the messy part is where life happens. And all things come to an end. Time with children at home, youthful years with your best-friends, traveling with your partner, phone calls with your mother, caring for your aging loved ones. And I’m reminded today, that while I’ve secretly wished some of this away, wished for a respite…the truth is crystal clear. The work keeps me connected. I don’t actually want the tough stuff to end. All of these things that I commit to, that I choose, are both gifts and challenges. In face, the things that are hardest bring me the greatest joy.
Here’s the second. We are valuable simply because we exist.
As we age, we often feel our declining contribution and abilities mean a decline in our value and worth. Let’s bust that myth please. I don’t want anyone believing that they are nothing but a burden. Our presence, our life force, has the ability to bring joy, peace, companionship, laughter, and love. Those are some of the most magnificent gifts we can offer at any point in our lives.
Our rescue dog didn’t have much left in her at the end, but it’s not simply the lack of work that has left a gap in our days. Her presence is missed and her absence seems deafening. The same is true for the aging we care for, the young who grow up, and the spouses that promise us forever. Presence is undervalued until it is absent.
Remember…
Never feel diminished. You are worthy simply because you exist. Transition from saying and feeling I have to. Instead, try I get to. Language helps us reframe and retain perspective. Gratitude doesn’t cost us time or money but gifts us abundance right where we stand.
This week, take a look around at not just the work that you do, but the gifts in your life: yourself, your loved ones, your friendships, your communities. Pour into them all, yourself especially. When we burnout and get overwhelmed the first thing we lose is perspective. Don’t wait for life to remind you to gain it back.
