The 1 a.m. Reflex
As if it’s not bad enough to wake up at 1 in the morning, why is it that the thoughts that pop into your head in the wee hours of the morning are negative??
Something’s not getting done, forgotten, done incorrectly or incompletely. Maybe you’re anticipating how your day is going to go wrong in all the ways. And if you’re not worrying about yourself in these ways, I’m guessing you’re worrying about this for someone else.
This happened to me the other night. Last Wednesday, I had a speaking engagement (thanks to those of you attended!) and all I wanted was for my Tuesday evening to go according to plan.
Yep, you guessed it. It didn’t go as planned.
Somehow routine went out the window. Normally, this isn’t the end of the world, but I really value routine when I’m teaching or speaking because I’m determined to offer my best to the audience. And I know feeling my best includes low stress and good sleep.
But the evening and night ended up falling short of my expectations. Things were getting done, but not on my timeline. Last minute things popped up. Meal times and bedtimes were off. And the haphazard nature of the day was starting to stress me out.
So, when I woke up at 1am, my thoughts were off to the races!
The second I was awake, a negative thought popped into my head, followed by another and yet another. All of them pointing out to me how the next day was just not going to go well.
My muscles tensed. I felt irritated. And not just for being awake in the middle of the night. I was frustrated with everyone and everything. How had this happened? I wanted to blame someone, no, everyone…
Negativity is a reflex for us. As students of learned deprivation, we are taught to believe that bad things happen. In fact, we’re so used to believing that that we forget the alternative (or anything in between) is also possible.
Thankfully, as a long-time student of Proactive Happiness, I caught myself.
Just getting used to being aware of stress, at the onset, has trained me to pick up on the physical, mental, and emotional cues that let me know I’m blocking my own happiness. So, I practiced micro-dosing happiness, and asked myself what else might happen….
Everything would be fine. That my kids would rest well. That I would rest well. That Wednesday would be great.
I went to bed on that thought. And woke up to a Wednesday where that was my reality. It all went off smoothly.
Sounds so simple right? Too simple even? Well, for better or for worse - a lot of life can be this simple. Simple isn’t always easy and none of us are perfect, but implementing constructive habits - High Vibe Habits - means we’re programming our autopilot to do the heavy lifting.
The ability to identify when you’re feeling low-vibe (like stress, fear, worry, anxious, overwhelmed, unhappy, uncomfortable, etc) is a superpower. It alerts you to an opportunity to take back control and find a solution. When you practice this habit (a piece of clarity), you get to avoid so much of the exhausting emotional rollercoaster that wastes your time, energy, and the way you experience life.
The benefit isn’t really even to get yourself to believe that the best case scenario will happen. It’s practice in believing that the worst case scenario is not inevitable, or even likely.
Break the cycle of fear, practice the habit of faith (belief in yourself and the good that’s possible).
