A Duel
When you find yourself fighting yourself, what do you do?
I think some of the hardest conversations we ever have are with ourselves. Our inner voice pops up at the most inconvenient times. For one brief moment, we have clarity. Making a decision, declining an offer, or reaching a goal can all feel so easy. And then…something happens. External forces begin to act upon us, robbing us of our clarity. Leaving us with turmoil - inner conflict.
Sometimes it’s the reality that our decisions affect those around us. Sometimes it’s realizing that clarity comes with a price – disappointing others. Sometimes the idea of breaking away from norms brings on too much discomfort for our liking.
More often than not, we give in. We tell ourselves we’re fine, and push on. We might pay for it with backaches, nervous bellies, or weight gain. Our blood pressure might creep up. Our joints might get sore. Our sleep quality suffers.
Why are we willing to take on so much?
We oddly feel safe within this uneasiness. It’s so prevalent, we don’t think twice about it. It feels neat and tidy bundled into familiar routines. What our bodies and thoughts often tell us are messy, uncomfortable, and seemingly unreasonable. We can spend years, even decades, avoiding our intuition hoping desperately for another, easier, option.
But what if turning inwards is the easiest option? What if listening to ourselves created the ease we seek?
Choosing to invest in yourself is strategic not selfish. We don’t question the value of college or grad school. We often admire or seek out those who excel in their field. We accept the value of this work with academics and athletics. The truth is this practice, this path to excellence, is available to each of us when we invest in ourselves.
People are at the top of their game not simply because of what they know but because the work they do is an extension of who they are. It is knowledge channeled. Investing in yourself means having not just more to give, but more of the best stuff to give…and give, and give.
The truth is discomfort only exists for as long as we are willing to bear it. We may feel like things will all fall apart: relationships, careers, community. But the fallout is rarely as devastating as we fear. Embracing anything new often means releasing something old. But that is where our lives begin to feel fresh again, alive.
The next time you find yourself mulling things over – listen. Ask yourself: why is it so hard to listen to my own needs?
Is it because if I listened, I might dare to meet my needs? If I took that step, what else might I dare to do? Respect myself, follow a dream, find fulfillment, embrace my power?
I don’t know – but I dare you to find out.
